hearing aid

Old people are awesome. Just saying.

I was over at my Grandma Betty's house one day just hanging out.

Just for a visual:

Leopard Print Everything +

Betty White +

Rhinestones +

3 More Inches of Afro =

My Grandma

Anyways, we were just sitting around watching TBN, looking through magazines, eating brown cows, the usual. Grandma starts talking.

G-Ma: Emily,

Okay. Real quick side story. Grandma Betty has the typical, shaky, precious old lady voice. So, when she says "Emily," it's more like, "EeeeEemiiiIIleeeEEEeeeeeeeeee." Does that make sense? ... I'll take that as a yes.

Moving on.

G-Ma: Emily, I need to ask you a question.

Me: Sure, Grandma! What is it?


G-Ma: Well, you see, there's this word I have been seeing around and hearing on TV...and I have no idea what it means. I was hoping I could ask you and you could tell me.

At this point, the panic sets in. What word does my grandma not know? ...wait. Oh no. OOOH NO. Grandma is about to ask me what a cuss word means. I am about to hear my grandma say some foul word, and I am going to have to tell her what it means. Somebody help me. I can't do this. Panic, panic, panic.

Me: Um...uh...sure, Grandma! ...What is it?

G-Ma: I believe it's pronounced...

PAINFUL SILENCE...

G-Ma: Yummy.

Me: ...What?

G-Ma: Well, I think that's how you say it. Y-U-M-M-Y. Yummy?

Me: So the word you want me to explain to you is...yummy?

G-Ma: Well...yes?

PRAISE THE LORD.

Hearing-my-grandma-cuss-and-having-to-explain-to-her-that-she-is-cussing-disaster averted. :)